Home Sexual Health Businesswoman from Jammu says let’s talk about sex and toys. This is what...

Businesswoman from Jammu says let’s talk about sex and toys. This is what she faced


Representational image| Khajuraho, Madhya Pradesh| Commons
Representational image| Khajuraho, Madhya Pradesh| Commons

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I am really popular in my friend circle nowadays and it’s because I am the founder of a sexual wellbeing discovery platform called Tickle.Life. Growing up in the small city of Jammu, I thought it was perfectly acceptable to make fun of puberty, sexuality and sexual reproduction. But things changed soon.

While pursuing my Masters in the Netherlands, there was a sex toy shop located right next to my dorm. It took me six months to even acknowledge my desire to enter the shop. I had to unlearn nearly three  decades of my life, after all. I was scared of being judged because hey, expressing anything related to sex puts a finger on your character, and sex toys are supposed to be illegal. So, I ended up lying to the shopkeeper that I was visiting the sex toy shop to buy something for my aunt. MY AUNT! Even though I had never talked to anyone in my family about sex toys, least of all my aunt.

And then the eureka moment happened. The salesperson asked me, what would my aunt like? Such a simple question, but so loaded. How would I know what my fabricated aunt would like when I was as clueless about myself, if not more? This one visit led to me travelling across Europe visiting over 100+ sex toy shops repeating the same line — I am here to buy something for someone. And getting the same response: “What would they like?”

It changed my perspective on sex. With this new brave outlook, coming back home to India I realised that we are not only a nation with one of the youngest populations, but also one of the most sexually misinformed. Which is why it was imperative I start Tickle.Life.

Also read: India’s sex toys industry is fulfilling the desire to become ‘Aatmanirbhar Bharat’

Hushed affair

Sexual and reproductive health is not even a category that has laws and medical courses in India. I was disturbed when I got to know that India does not have a separate medical discipline to become a sexologist. The ones who call themselves sexologists are specialists in other fields. You go to a gynaecologist for any sex-related query or problem. And they too are hesitant to ask even simple, direct questions such as: ‘Are you sexually active?’. If you are a woman, you will be asked: ‘Are you married?’

Even in this era, we do not know or accept that we are sexual beings, and that we need open, judgement-free, sexual knowledge/education and options.

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